Two food-related things that I love today.

December 9, 2008 at 3:25 pm (funny things, neat things) (, )

The first is Food Party with Thu Tran. Possibly the greatest cooking show ever (not that I’ve seen many actual cooking shows to compare it to). Here’s the beginning of Episode 1, to get you started.

The second is Anna the Red’s Bento Factory, a blog featuring pictures of lunches that are too cute to eat! Via Make.

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Dinosaur Kingdom

December 7, 2008 at 11:26 am (funny things, stupidity) (, , )

Dinosaur Kingdom is the name of a new and silly amusement park in Virginia.

Dinosaur Kingdom is a twist on the biblical Creationist view that people and dinosaurs lived together. Here, people live with dinosaurs — but only until the dinosaurs eat them.

As the tour begins, visitors are asked to imagine themselves in 1863. A family of Virginia paleontologists has accidentally dug a mine shaft into a hidden valley of living dinosaurs. Unfortunately, the Union Army has tagged along, hoping to kidnap the big lizards and use them as “weapons of mass destruction” against the South.

What you see along the path of Dinosaur Kingdom is a series of tableaus depicting the aftermath of this ill-advised military strategy. As you enter, a lunging, bellowing T-Rex head lets you know that the dinosaurs are mad — and they only get madder. A big snake has eaten one Yankee, and is about to eat another. An Allasaurus grabs a bluecoat off of his rearing horse while a second soldier futilely tries to lasso the big lizard. Another Yankee crawls up a tree with a stolen egg while the mom dinosaur batters it down. Mark has augmented some of these displays with motors: toothy jaws flap, tails and tongues wag.

Mark explains that he originally wanted the dinosaurs to attack Pancho Villa and his troops at the turn of the 20th century, but then decided against it. “I was really looking for some villains,” he explained. “The Pancho Villa thing — nobody remembers that.” Which is true. Instead, Mark’s substitution of Union soldiers seems certain to win him favor, at least locally. “I mean, for Christ’s sake, people still fight the Civil War down here,” he said. “I would gladly have changed the color of the uniforms — if I was from the North.”

No further comment.

Via A Blog Around the Clock.

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Now That Racism’s Over…(Not)

November 17, 2008 at 1:19 am (funny things, movies/video/clips, racism)

Hilarious.

If only, right?

Via Bastard Logic.

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Otto the Octopus Juggles Hermit Crabs

November 7, 2008 at 4:44 pm (funny things) ()

Via Feministe, this is hilarious.

An octopus at the Sea Star Aquarium in Coburg, Germany, became agitated by a bright light shining into his enclosure and took it upon himself to get rid of it, causing serious black-out problems for the aquarium and its many creatures.

“It was on the third night that we found out that the octopus Otto was responsible for the chaos.

“We knew that he was bored as the aquarium is closed for winter, and at two feet, seven inches Otto had discovered he was big enough to swing onto the edge of his tank and shoot out the 2000 Watt spot light above him with a carefully directed jet of water.”

But this is the really funny part:

“Once we saw him juggling the hermit crabs in his tank, another time he threw stones against the glass damaging it. And from time to time he completely re-arranges his tank to make it suit his own taste better – much to the distress of his fellow tank inhabitants.”

Funny unless you’re one of those hermit crabs, of course.

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“6-Year-Old Stares Down Bottomless Abyss Of Formal Schooling”

September 19, 2008 at 10:58 pm (amazing things, frightening things, funny things, injustice)

I read this article at The Onion when it came out last month, and I have been haunted by it ever since.

Shortly after his mommy, homemaker Ellen Bolduc, 31, assured him that he would be able to resume playtime “when school lets out,” Connor’s innocent brain only then began to work out the implication of that sentence to its inevitable, soul-crushing conclusion.

When pressed for more detail on the exact timing of that event, Mrs. Bolduc would only reply “soon.” At that point, the normally energetic child grew quiet before asking a follow-up question, “After [younger sister] Maddy’s birthday?” thereby setting the stage for the first of thousands of rushing realizations he will be forced to come to grips with over the course of his subsequent existence.

Madison Ellen Bolduc was born on Sept. 28.

After learning that the first grade will continue for eight excruciating months beyond that date, it was only a matter of time before Bolduc inquired into what grade comes after first grade, and, when told, would probe further into how many grades he will have to complete before allowed to play with his friends.

That last sentence in particular runs through my head almost everyday. You should read the whole thing.

In all seriousness, I hereby vow not to send my children to formal school, on the basis of that article alone.

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Extreme Ironing

August 25, 2008 at 3:58 pm (amazing things, funny things, stupidity)

Can you focus on a tiny crease in a shirt sleeve while balancing on one leg on a tree branch jutting out over a cliff? Didn’t think so.

Not much to add to this, so just read it. It’s hilarious.

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Pals of Paris

August 20, 2008 at 11:01 pm (funny things, movies/video/clips, politics) (, , )

Jim Terr, a family friend and political satirist, is working on a new project called Pals of Paris. If you haven’t seen Paris’ response to John McCain’s celebrity campaign ad, you can watch it here now.

Jim’s concept is to have young women (mostly, though anyone’s welcome) respond with questions for Paris about her campaign and to suggest topics for her to run on, “to hopefully stir up discussion on important issues besides those that get asked, re-asked, and re-hashed in the presidential debates, on the campaign trail, in the papers, on the radio etc.”

This is the video I made (with tons of help from both Daisy and Brenden!) to help him out:

It’s grainy and silly, but there ya have it. I’m posting it here mainly because embedding it into the Pals of Paris website has proved difficult, for some reason, and so this post may or may not get linked from there.

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Animal Balloon and Kama Sutra Sculptures

July 18, 2008 at 3:10 am (amazing things, art, funny things, sex)

Via Jeff Koons, fest your eyes upon some strange, yet somehow hilarious, creations.

My personal favorites are, of course, the giant balloon animals and the Kama Sutra positions. All these and more can be viewed here, at Jeff Koons’ official website (the balloon sculptures are under the heading Celebration, while the glass renderings of the Kama Sutra can be found under Made in Heaven).

And for those of you with a more philosophical bent, in his book on postmodernism, author Glenn Ward defines Koons’ work as “neo-geo-postmodernist visual art”. And no, I don’t actually know what that means. But hooray for animal balloons!

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Young@Heart

July 1, 2008 at 2:57 pm (funny things, movies/video/clips, music, neat things)

Yesterday, I went with a bunch of friends and family to see Young@Heart, a documentary about a senior citizen’s choir group. The choir is lovely and brings new meaning to songs like The Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Sedated” and The Bee Gees’ “Staying Alive.” In standard documentary form, the film follows the choir’s progress as they prepare for a big tour and emphasizes the importance of community and music in the choir member’s lives. The experience or singing together regularly is life-affirming for many Young@Heart members, and it’s inspiring to see. I recommend this movie. Here’s the trailer:

And here they are singing “I Wanna Be Sedated,” by The Ramones:

One more for the road. “Road to Nowhere,” by the Talking Heads:

Love it. May we all grow old with such gusto!

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SOPP Erotica (Explicit)

May 9, 2008 at 1:38 pm (funny things, sex) (, )

Note! This post contains graphic depictions of sex, beyond the “Read the rest” link. Click on at your discretion.

For this to make the best kind of sense, please refer to back to SOPP and the guidelines therein.

This is Via the Hookah smoking and infinitely creative ways of Tayzer Carrotsauce, Staceysaurus, and Kelsa.

There are a few Antioch-specific references, but I hope that won’t throw anyone off to far.

Here goes:

Emerson and Libby shared a glance across the smoky dorm room, the sweet scent of melon shish curling delicately through the air. It was nearing the end of the second term, and with Antioch College closing for good within a few short weeks, Libby felt the pressure of her secret desires closing in. It was tonight, or never.

Libby and Emerson had become close within the first few weeks of school, but strictly within a friendly sense. Libby had entertained numerous open relationships with the boys on campus, and presented herself as strictly identifying as straight. Libby had shared details of all of her sexual encounters with Emerson, but had kept one big secret from him. She wanted him. Bad.

As friends slowly filed out as the hookah ran out, Libby worked up the courage to make the move she had been dreaming of. She took a deep breath as she struggled to finally ask him, “do you want to take a walk in the glen?” Emerson, used to these late night walks, where they talked about everything, from future plans to crushes, did not realize that tonight was a night unlike any other.

“Of course,” he said, smiling his usual roguish grin. They set off, and soon found themselves along amongst the trees. It was a pleasantly warm night in mid April, the full moon showing full and bright, illuminating the rocky steps they walked on.

“Emerson,” Libby finally broke the silence they had been walking in, “I have something to tell you.” She sat down on one of the large boulders close to them. “I’ve always wanted you. From the first day I met you, at propsp. weekend.” Emerson looked stunned.

“I’m flattered, Libby,” he replied, pressing a hand to his tightly bound chest, “but I thought you were only interested in male bodied people.”

“Well, Emerson,” Libby began, “After taking queer theory with Isabella Winkler last term, I realized that I should stop limiting my desires into the box the society creates. I realized that want you and what I want to do with you, and that is that.”

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