Back to School Tips for and by Christian Fundamentalists

August 4, 2007 at 1:45 pm (books, funny things, stupidity) (, , )

I think a week ago I would have found this to be hilarious. But now, after a recent scare involving speculation about my as-of-yet unknown and future college roommate, and online social networking, I’m not so sure…but that’s a different post, maybe.

Back to School: Will my students remain passionate about Christ?

You have been hard at work all summer trying to help your students get connected to Christ. You have seen God do some big things, and your students have made some BIG decisions. But soon they will be headed back to school where they will be surrounded by friends who want them to compromise in their relationship with Christ. Eight hours a day, five days a week, for 9 months your student will be bombarded with the temptation to give in to sin.

Which is why the fundamentalist organization Ignite Student Outreach offers tips about how to better proselytize at school to ensure that hardcore Christians aren’t bombarded with pressure to modify their religious beliefs for the emotional comfort of others. Tip number one:

Be strategic about scheduling events that will help keep your students focused on Christ and godly living. Perhaps you could plan an event the weekend before school starts that is intended to take the focus off of your students and place it on their non-Christian friends. Host an event that will encourage your students to share Christ with their friends at school starting on Day 1. As the school year continues, constantly remind your students to remain focused on Christ!

My favorite part shows up in the beginning, though.

They are headed back to reality and to the challenges and temptations that face them everyday at school.

Yes; their godly devotion must not be threatened by reality, of all things.

Reminds me of the time that Daisy and I read a book called How to Stay Christian in College together, cover to cover, in one sitting at Borders. Now THAT was funny.

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4 Comments

  1. ClapSo said,

    They do their best to control the minds of their young. But I find it fails because the reality is a cults power over an individual weakens as they spend less time with the other cult members.

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

  2. Emily said,

    Indeed. Did you see that recent study that says the biggest threat to the continuation of the Christian community is the risk that Christians might actually read the bible? They’re likely to be turned off.

  3. dianarn said,

    It’s ok. If the Christian college students fall back, there’s always the little kids they send off to Jesus Camp and turn them into total brainwashed zealots.

  4. heartyheretic said,

    Freakin’ reality. Screws up religion every time.

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